Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
