i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
