My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
