Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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