so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
