11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
