Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
