I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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