it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
