I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
