and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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