you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Bring me that man meat
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
