There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Couch. On fire.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
