Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
