Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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