So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
the raccoons are back...
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