maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize