Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
