He is an equal opportunity slut.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
