pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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