that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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