It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
