last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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