sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
