ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
