Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
