You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize