There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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