At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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