there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
