respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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