New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize