he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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