if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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