This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
