i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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