Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
