he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
as a side note pls kill me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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