your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
