shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
