If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
