Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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