Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
