there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
