He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
