i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
