One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
