I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
