It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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