I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
