But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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