Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
