So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
