Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
