they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
