This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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