Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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