what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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