I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
