she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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