what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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