I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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