If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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