pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
