Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
